If only I would've known the truth to this 3 years ago....
* disclaimer- this is the longest post I've ever done and probably ever do, but I feel very passionate about this, so I'd rather not cut it short
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being vulnerable is tough, so I'm jumping right in!!
If only I knew something so simple and so easy would've changed my outlook on so many things.
•Take care of yourself.•
Easier said than done right?! As humans our basic instinct is to help others (which is pretty phenomenal if you ask me) but when it comes to taking care of ourselves, it typically gets put on the back burner right??
3 years ago I had Jackson, and everything changed. My outlook on life, why I got up in the morning, why I barely slept at night, every spare moment I had went to my beautiful boy. Going to work after maternity leave got harder and harder everyday. I was scared to leave him with anyone, even with Jon( even though Jon had 2x the experience with babies than I did)
Even though I was so infectiously in love with being a mom, I WAS MISERABLE.
Somewhere in that time I stopped being me, I shut out friends and family. I didn't do things for me anymore, little things like taking extra time in the shower, eating full meals, going on lunch dates with friends.
It was exhausting, and I didn't even realize it was happening.
I thought moving to a new city would change things. A fresh start, something new and exciting. I was SOOO wrong, it got worse. Our house needed massive renovations, Jackson needed more and more of my attention. And I lost almost all human interaction since quitting my job. I was spread so thin...
My relationship with Jon had its low moments, how can I love someone else if I can't truly love myself? I was hard to be around, always negative, never FULLY happy about anything, always pessimistic...
He's such a saint for being there for me.
"Let's finally get married!!" I said, like it was going to somehow fix everything! Ha!
Let's talk about no room on my plate....
My wedding dress I had bought two years before was tight (having babies does that
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Talk about downward spiral...
Feeling complete loss, and at my lowest, I reached out to my cousin Melissa, who I had been Facebook stalking for a while. she was always so upbeat and in phenomenal shape, but she was real. Like me, flaws and all.
I put my ego and fear aside and reached out to her. I wanted to tone up and loose some weight before the wedding so I joined one of her challenge groups.
Holy hell, the ripple that decision made has changed my life in more ways than one.
I started caring for myself, taking 30 minutes a day to workout. ( it's my therapy, I never knew how much needed to blow off steam)I couldn't remember the last time I had 30 minutes to myself. Eating right, experimenting with foods. And then I started paying it forward by helping others, becoming a coach was the best decision I have made in a long time. Plus, I joined an amazing tribe women who love on each other hard. plus size mother of the bride dresses
I could go on and on about how much my life has changed, but this is already a novel of a post!!
Long story short, in the last year my outlook on life and the way I feel about myself has changed completely. I feel confident in my own skin, I'm a better momma and a far better wife. I love on people hard, but I also remember to love myself. For the first time in a long time,
I'M HAPPY. (Oh and down almost 30 pounds!! Hehe)
If you currently feel like I did, or just wanna take steps to bettering your health and fitness, please reach out to me. Know that others have felt the way you do and you are not alone
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